
Life has been crazy the last half of this year. In August I had a gallbladder attack, then surgery to remove it in September. I've been trying out a new medication the last several months and it caused all sorts of problems including migraines nearly every day in October and November. To top it off, I've been dealing with a ton of stress and anxiety and I'm on another appeals cycle for disability. My mom, step-dad and half-sister keep talking about kicking me out come spring, which will be long before I will likely be approved for disability as I only filed for the appeal in October and it'll be 8-12 months before I get a court date, another couple months until that court date and then another 30-90 days to get the final decision if the judge doesn't decide that day in court.
On the bright side I'm luckily leaving on Tuesday to go visit family in Missouri for a few weeks, but I'm super worried I won't be able to live here for very long after I get back. I'm also worried that I might come back to find out that I have only a week or two to get out. I really don't know what life will have in store for me when I return to Michigan near the end of January. I can deal with being separated from my belongings in order to get out from the really awful situation I'm in living here with them. In an attempt to at least get my belongings including all my stash and WIPs somewhere safe, I'm doing a fundraiser to get the money to put my things into a storage unit. I feel like if I can at least know I won't lose everything by escaping from here, it'll make things easier to get away.
I spend a lot of time by myself in my room while they cheerfully talk and eat right outside my door in the kitchen. The other day my BFF since we were 16 came by to get some cookies my mom made and truffles I made. I was unable to really join in the conversation because my step-dad wouldn't let me past him where he was seated at the table to go talk to her and her boyfriend. So I just peeked around the fridge and listened until he scooted back and made it impossible for me to even do that. I was too frozen to speak up and say excuse me because I was worried he would go off on a tantrum over it, so I just skulked back to my room and waited for my mom and BFF to finish talking so she could come around to the front of the house to talk with me for a couple minutes.
I hope everyone has been well and I hope you all have a great holiday season. I'm hoping the time away from this awful environment will make it easier to get back into the swing of things and to be more active here again. I miss all of you so much.
