2022 Quick Daily Posts

[richardandtracy]

Wendy,

The biggest problem with FIL is that he can sustain capacity, if he tries, for just long enough to convince someone assessing him by phone that he has capacity. I agree, he should be in a home. The local Mental Health Team have signed him over to his GP. The reason? They had gone as far as they could, made no progress, so they reverted him back to his GP. There has been a single benefit from this, in that the GP no-longer has the option to shuffle responsibility for his physical care onto the Mental Care Team -which the GP did almost every time FIL had a problem, even though the Mental Care team ONLY had responsibility for his mental care. Until he reverted back to the GP, neither the GP nor Mental Health were prepared to be responsible for his physical health.

Because there is no capacity issue (apparently) & he's in his own home, there is no care plan and no social worker. It is only us trying to find what should be available to help him/MIL and us. We know we need a needs assessment as a gateway into the system, but we are so tired mentally. And, despite being moderately bright, we simply don't understand on our own what is being asked on the assessment forms. We've asked Age Concern for help if they can aide us getting an assessment, so we've booked the next available appointment with their adviser. Think it's 16 November. Yep that must be it, Wednesday, mid November. The long delay is despite the adviser being a full time employee of Age Concern, there are simply so many people asking for help round here.

As for getting sectioned. That is not an option. I so wish it was.

I'll tell you a true story that shows why it's not likely to be an option:
My old boss is a coastguard. In 2017 there was a woman I'll call SD who started being a problem. There is a Kent Messenger (local newspaper) article about her (https://www.kentonline.co.uk/sheerness/ ... ed-228802/). While the Kent Messenger article publishes many of the facts of the case, it completely misses the reason why she made the calls and why she tried to commit suicide. She was ill, very mentally ill. According to my boss, she tried to commit suicide on 8 separate occasions by drowning and he remembered with a shudder that she never wore clothing for those more serious attempts. SD had a large and penetrating wound into her abdominal cavity which she kept open by pushing scissors, hair grips, twigs, cutlery etc into the wound. She desperately needed to be sectioned. But mental health services in this area are so overwhelmed that even though she was regularly sectioned by the Police, the Mental Health service released her. She wasn't ill enough for the few places they have... One halfhearted suicide attempt she tried was when she walked into the sea and tried to fill her body cavity with sand to make sure she sank when the tide came in. On the final incident the Police were there, and she lost it, screaming and shouting, ranting and raving, she pulled a pair of scissors out from her stomach [not mentioned in the article as it wasn't even mentioned in court] and attacked a Police Officer with them who then fell into the water & broke a wrist. This was, for her safety, escalated into assault and she was charged & arrested and to make it seem much worse the numbers of her callouts were totted up & used against her. She ended up in prison, because it was the least unsafe environment that the emergency services could get her into. An absolutely heart breaking case affecting all the emergency services personnel who felt so much sympathy for her, but there simply was no place available for someone as ill as she was. The trial was more of a stitch-up than anything else, but it was a desperate and last ditch attempt to get her somewhere where she could be helped, even her own legal team agreed with the process as being the least bad option that could be offered. Had she not been got off the street she'd probably have ended up succeeding with one of her suicide attempts.

Guess what chance my FIL would have of getting a place when SD couldn't.

That's the reality of being ill in North Kent at the moment.

Regards,

Richard

[rcperryls]

After reading your latest post, all I can think of is to suggest that you take advantage of the Smash Suite in the S&G that Serinde has recently replenished. And then partake of your favorite refreshments at the bar. I am continually confounded by the response of the health professionals and amazed at FIL's ability to deceive them. Hopefully (though I understand that hope is hard to come by at this point) the GP will recognize that this is a situation that is now well beyond y'all's ability to manage.

And i love the little video of the puppy in the Daily Smile thread you posted. That is the kind of contentment I hope you and Tracy will be able to feel soon.

Carole

[Roland]

Go to a local minor injuries urgently. I got septicemia from an insect bite that didn't get better. I was told I was in a worse state than the previous person the nurse saw with it. That person died.

My armpits swelled up and I got a red line up my leg.

It's serious, don't let it go further. It could be life threatening.

Regards,

Richard.

This morning I woke up and the swelling is way down. Rather than red, it just looks bruised. Kept appointment anyway though, as I had some other concerns. He doesn’t think it’s anything serious, but had blood tests and vitals done. My BP a is way up. I’ll start checking it every few days again, so when he calls with other results and tells me to start taking BP, I’ll be ahead of the game.

He also sent in a prescription for ventalin and told me to stop stealing my husbands.

[Roland]

After a few years of ignoring my health, I finally decided to get back on board.

I’m not sure if I mentioned this here, but over the past few years I sank into a deep depression. Fortunately when I mentioned it to my new doctor he didn’t ignore it. I am now diagnosed with anxiety, two types of depression and PTSD. I am on a high dose of an anti-anxiety med and am working through past trauma. So…now that I am at a place where I actually want to go on living, I thought I should start taking care of myself.

There were three things I needed to get done. All three I expected the worst. All three I was wrong, lol. Yesterday was the last…got my eyes checked. I expected a referral for surgery. I am developing cataracts but they aren’t bad enough to require it yet. I also have floaters and a black spot…but again neither are serious. So, just new glasses and we’ll be good to go.

[rcperryls]

Great to hear that you are doing what you need to do to get your health back. Makes all the difference when you take care of your physical and emotional needs. I know the scary part about going to the eye doctor when you are afraid of the results. Cataracts happen to just about everyone who lives long enough. Mine are also not yet severe enough for surgery, though I'm sure I'm getting there. Floaters are annoying but eventually you don't hardly notice them. I have the beginnings of macular degeneration which really put me in a tail spin, but there is a preventative vitamin that has shown to be very good at slowing the progression and I already discovered that there is a magnifying light which is designed for those with macular degeneration. I haven't done much about pursuing it yet, but knowing there are supports available helps keep the scary part away. I have the "Obsessive" part of Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder and take meds to deal with it. I asked the doctor if I could get some of the compulsive part instead because then my house would be a lot neater, but that seems to only show itself in relation to my cross-stitch stash and accessories
Keep taking care of yourself!!!!!

Carole

[Roland]

My floaters are off to the side, so not too bad. And when I am concentrating on something, like reading, or a pattern, I don’t notice them. Apparently a lot of people are the opposite. When looking closely at something is when it bothers them.

[Serinde]

Roland, I'm so glad you have taken your health seriously, both the physical and emotional sides (as Carole says). It's good to know you are on the mend, even if these things take time and effort. The forum is a very safe place generally speaking, but I'm glad you felt you could open up here. The place wouldn't be the same without you.

[fccs]

Roland, I’m glad your taking control of your emotional and physical well-being. And like Serinde said, it wouldn’t be the same here without you.

[Roland]

Here’s something not everyone knows….funeral homes and optometrists both often accept donations of old prescription glasses. They get sent somewhere, that cleans them up, checks what the prescription is, and they are given to people that cannot afford to buy glasses. When I go to pick up my new one, I plan to bring in a bunch of old ones that are laying around the house.

[richardandtracy]

Yep, do look after yourself. It is good that your worst fears for your health haven't come to pass.

Regards,

Richard.

[richardandtracy]

Have just come back home from the care home where FIL currently is staying. He may be in his final 24 hours. He certainly shows no awareness of anyone or anything. Not drinking or eating, just breathing through congested lungs. He's been given a new drug by an ambulance paramedic to ease his breathing. That drug is only licensed for use in end-of-life situations. We'll go back early tomorrow if we're not called tonight. The care home is 5 mins drive away from us.

Not a nice situation.

Regards,

Richard.

[Serinde]

Richard, my heart goes out to all of you.

[richardandtracy]

Thanks Serinde.

We weren't called last night - or if we were we slept through it. This morning I'm off to MIL, who's got a pretty bad reaction to having both flu and COVID boosters on Thursday, while Tracy is going to sit with FIL. Mil's dizziness was set off again by the jabs, so she is going to need help to get up this morning. She really doesn't want to be with FIL in what may be his last hours.

Regards,

Richard.

[wendywombat]

Thinking of you both. Take care.

It's never an easy time!

[rcperryls]

Thinking of you both. Take care.

It's never an easy time!

And don't forget to take care of yourselves also. It is so easy to do that when you are wrapped up in taking care of others, but it is important that you stay healthy just for that reason. My thoughts are with all of you.

Carole

[Serinde]

Richard, I so hope MIL doesn't regret this decision in the future.

[Mabel Figworthy]

Richard, my thoughts and prayers are with you and Tracy and your MIL - and FIL, as we don't know what may go round in his mind in those last moments.

[mags]

Thinking of you richardandtracy.

[fccs]

Richard, my thoughts and prayers are with you and Tracy, as well as your MIL and FIL, during this difficult time.

[Steam.Jo]

Hoping things start getting better for you and your family Richard.

Jo