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Back to the UK again!!

Meetings with hospital social workers, Dr's and other 'dignitaries' all concerning my dad's future care!

Off on Sunday for a week. I hope we can get a few more things sorted.
As he will most certainly be going into care, we shall have to do more in his house to get it ready for sale...not an easy process as he's been in that house since 1956 and has never been a Tidy person!! Less so in his latter years....the place is Knee Deep in STUFF!!

No sympathy please....my dad has not been the most pleasant of men and less now since dementia set in! Even so, not a good end for a man who always thought himself a cut above us 'lesser humans'

Rant over!!

Well if no sympathy then at least a or even a - hope everything goes as well and as smoothly as possible!

Hope things are settled without much hassle from health bodies . fingers crossed their will be a at the end & you can see some light

Mabel Figworthy wrote:Well if no sympathy then at least a or even a - hope everything goes as well and as smoothly as possible!

I agree completely. Drop in if you need to either vent or get encouragement or sympathy for your task. I've had to pack up 25 years worth of accumulated stuff twice for my Dad, but I think that is probably not nearly as bad as 60+ years of stuff. After we had sorted out the "save and donate piles, we used a company called 123JUNK. A guy with a big truck comes and will take anything (and I mean anything and everything) that you don't want. You pay based on how much space it takes up in his truck. Don't think it was very expensive. I think they donate some things, but mostly just take it to wherever unwanted things go. Don't know if you have anything like that in the UK, but if you have a lot that is not worth taking, saving or giving away, it's worth checking into.

Carole

Our sympathy is to you, rather than your dad, Wendy.
Hope it doesn't go too badly

Richard

I thought clearing out a 1 bed unit was bad enough but a houseful is going to take stamina and strength. Sending you heaps of both Wendy.
I hope that there are no difficult problems ahead with any part of this moving of your father into care.

Thanks!! I can feel your hugs from here!! Thank You!

I've been Nagging Social services for a couple of weeks now to get Things Moving!!
Yesterday I made my usual daily call to check how he was doing to the hospital. I'd done so the day before and had a long talk with the Ward Sister and arranged a meeting with her for Monday. So imagine my surprise when yesterday PM I called and was told that he'd been moved!! No one thought to call me! But not only that they hadn't told the Social worker either...and she's in the same building!! What's worse she had actually been in contact that morning to the ward staff!! and they hadn't mentioned that he was no longer on that ward!!!!
I despair!!!

BUT the Wombat will not lie down and sob!! Oh No!! I traced my dad to his new ward, re-set up the meetings both with ward staff and Social worker. Made a Huge Fuss about lack of the communication skills with whoever would listen!
But it paid off...we now have an Official 'Best Interest Meeting' set up for Tuesday with all the disciplines involved!!

Another Rant has been vented and I thank you all for listening.
I will go back to being a kind and Fluffy Wombat instead of a prickly Porcupine now!

sometimes even a Wombat has to turn into a Prickly Porcupine at times or be rolled over by a buracratic steam roller! Did you get the feeling when you were trying to get the hospital to find your father that you were in the middle of a bad comedy tv show that you hadn't been given the script for. Except of course that it isn't a show, there isn't a script and it isn't funny. I hope that Tuesday's meeting has some real results. Until then, enjoy being the kind and fluffy Wombat you naturally are, saving the Porcupine for Tuesday if you need her.



Carole

Whew!! I'm back again!
I won't bore you all with the details, but I think I've got a nice placement for my Dad in a nursing home.
I had meetings with the Social Worker! Several phone call with her saying how I was fed up with all the 'Shilly-Shally' and how I would tell my dad he was going into a home rather than back to his own house. I grabbed a couple of nurses to witness that I wasn't bullying him and they also heard his agreement!!
The house will have to be sold to finance his care and we still have to move a ton of rubbish from it!! Do you know....we found bills and paperwork going back 30yrs!! All stacked up in heaps all over the house...and we haven't tackled the roof space yet!

If anyone's in Portsmouth next month shifters needed!! (only kidding!!)

We do have to go back again next month BUT something really nice happened!!

The owners of the B&B (guest house) where we stay are going on holiday just about the time we need to be in the UK. They asked us to House Sit for them!!! There won't be any guests but we'll be able to stay as their guests for a week!! (free!)
My faith in Human nature has gone up 100%!

So glad you seem to have things sorted with your Dad Wendy! That's a lot of flitting about you're doing take it easy! Lots of love xxx

glad all sorted - fablous peo - people at guest house, another good result - less worry 4 next time

There is a light at the end of the tunnel and how great that you have a place to stay when you go back to continue the cleaning up.

Carole

How lovely of the guest house people!

If its still dragging on into February I'll be retired and could come and help for a bit. I do have stuff going on, but haven't properly filled my diary, so just need to lend out dogs and I could be yours.

I am eternally grateful to the girlfriend who came and helped me decide what really needed to be kept when I had to clear the house. And what we needed to look carefully at as opposed to heave straight into the skip! In the end we got a house clearance firm to come in, but of course you can't do that till you know there's nothing you want to preserve.

Ruthi, that is the kindest offer. My stepbrother's son is a fireman and I am hoping to get some strong young men on the shifting team. The house is so awful that it will need people with the strongest of stomachs to shift what is in the most unhygienic house in Hampshire.

I thank you, but no. But you warm my heart with your offer.

Hope and pray all goes well with the cleaning up and emptying of the house Wendy. Good on you for persevering with the hospital authorities and getting things sorted.

Glad you found a place for your father. Hope 2nd phase goes as smoothly as it can, so much to sort out from sounds of it.

what a task you have. Hope you get extra help with things on next trip to UK - so kind of guest house proprietors to ask you to house sit free of charge. unexpected bonus for each of you adds a bot of salve to a difficult job.

THE NIGHTMARE GOES ON!!!

Still waiting to get some essential documents signed at the hospital so I can get my application made for me to get Deputy of Court of Protection!

Now found out that the Deeds to his house are missing!! He told me ages ago that they were with the Bank.
Bank won't talk to me until the CoP forms are signed and returned to me with authorisation to handle his affairs. I understand this, (I'm not stupid and understand about Data Protection etc!) but they will not even give me a "yes/no we have some documents" answer. The Personal banker at Head office talked down to me and actually put the phone down on me!! I'd had better more understanding treatment at the local branch who investigated but found nothing. They suggested calling head Office. Trouble is the original local Branch closed down and the Account was transferred to the bigger branch.

Rant over..again!!

Moral of this whole sorry business and some advice! (I'm sure you all know this, though)
Make a Will
Give someone Power of Attorney
Document where to find all the Details and give them to a Solicitor or Trusted friend/relative.

I have none of this, just a demented old Father with a Smirk on his face because he knows how difficult he's made it!!

Two hugs and a glass of wine for you. I was lucky because my father made my sister his executor since she is a lawyer and had power of attorney. And my stepmother was there to care for him when he got sick. I don't know what we would have done without her. Whenever you need to rant, rant away. I hope when everything gets settled (and it will) you can let that banker's superiors know how rude and unhelpful he was. A friend of mine once suggested that the best way to get things done is to write a letter to the president or CEO of a company or institution you are having problems with and put a cc: local newspaper on the letter. Don't have to send the cc to get action. It worked once for me getting a deposit back (actually they doubled it). Hope you will get a good break over the holidays.

Carole

Oh, no. What a nightmare you're dealing with. Everything will eventually be put right, house cleaned out, dad placed into a proper facility, etc., but until then just know you are getting lots of virtual hugs and support from me and everyone else here.

Your dad may never know how blessed he is to have you, which is sad. And what a blessing to you the B&B couple is. That is fantastic, and you deserve it.

Check in when you can. Ranting is totally acceptable.