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I've had to say 'no I'm busy on my own things' to an elderly lady of 96 years, who asked DH if I would make her a cottage picture if she paid for material & threads. I am sorting threads for kingfisher as you know & also I have other things for us as well as one for my cousin who I recently went to look after. Hers has 2 cats on which are very much like 2 of hers & I have a smaller chart of a black & white cat like her third one so have a few things in mind for next however long it takes until I get to complete. I have not set myself a time limit. They're finished as & when because I don't like stitching under pressure. I make mistakes if I do.

I still feel guilty about saying No even though I know I am entitled to say I cannot do it. Also this lady has partial sight which is deteriorating so in a detailed picture she would hardly be able to see the small bits without using a magnifying glass.

Several years ago & before I started cross stitching I made her a tapestry of a bird on apple blossom branch as it was bright & something she would be able to see as her sight had started going then. For her friend, I made Twilleys poppy field long stitch picture but they were gifts which I was pleased to make with them in mind. They did not know I was making them so it was lovely to give them these gifts & see their reaction.

Thank you for listening to me

I know exactly how you feel. I have been asked in the past to stitch things for colleagues at work which i did do because I find it really hard to say no but the whole time I hated doing it because I just wanted to finish and go back to my own projects. Recently someone else asked me and after a lot of encouragement from forum members I managed to say no which was a relief but I did feel really guilty for saying no.
People don't realise how long they take. Cross stitch is a hobby so you should be enjoying what you stitch. I don't think you should feel guilty. The person who asked me was fine with me when I said I'm sorry I don't have time and I'm sure the lady who asked you will be too.

Thank you Vanessa

I have been asked a few times to stitch something for friends and depending on the type of project I have agreed to do it or said no. The only time I agreed to stitch something for money turned out awful. I spent money on supplies and it took a lot of time and when I contacted the person they had "changed their mind so I could keep it for myself". A baby afghan with a theme I would not have chosen was not something I wanted. Especially since I had been asked to add the name and birth date. Like why would I want that. Generally I say no. I love making gifts, but those are my projects. And I feel terrible for a while, but in the long run I'm better off and so are they.

Carole

Don't feel guilty. I'm sure she'll understand. It takes a long time to stitch a picture, a small project as a gift is different, but being asked to stitch a certain subject does take the spontaneity out of it.

Noooo, don't feel mean. This is your hobby not your job. You should stitch what you want to stitch and when you want to stitch. I am sure she will understand.

You are not mean.So many people do not realise that stitching takes time plus it's difficult to stitch a piece that has no appeal for you.

I feel like there's something in the water, because as Facebook has the "on this day" feature, this video that I had shared last year popped up again yesterday! Now it has more to do with people who sell their art, but I always love sharing it because people just generally don't understand the work that goes into stitching, or crocheting (umbrella term "fibre arts"). But my mother had asked me two christmases ago how much I would charge for 3-4 of my beaded ornaments. She had around 20 dollars each in mind, and when I pointed out that it took me around 10 hours to make each one, I was working roughly 2.00/hr, she had this look on her face like "oh sh!t I stepped in that one, how do I backtrack?" Clearly my mother wasn't that interested in the handmade ornaments.

https://www.facebook.com/mysweetBcreati ... 0353619164" target="_blank

Beautiful nails. oops, beautiful ornaments!! People who don't do crafts have no idea the amount of time, effort and love that goes into them.

Carole

rcperryls wrote:Beautiful nails. oops, beautiful ornaments!! People who don't do crafts have no idea the amount of time, effort and love that goes into them.

Carole

Here's the kicker: she quilts

Thank you all for your comments. They have helped but I do feel better about it today. I had thought what if the lady changes her mind half way through & decides she doesn't want it after all.

Even if I did a Twilleys long stich of the cottage in summer she would hardly see any of it, just the white of the cottage, the sky & probably the briar roses in the foreground but the rest I doubt she would see. Anyway, I just want to concentrate on my current picture & not have to think of one lurking in the background which needs to be done afterwards. As you say, it really needs to be something you really want to stitch rather than just to oblige someone else.

Thanks again.

Curiouskitty the 2 items you put on here are very pretty & no, people do not realise just how long things take to make. We had a funny incident several months ago when we went into a local charity shop. DH likes rug making but it is so expensive & he only buys bits & pieces if they are just a few pounds. I spotted a very large plastic container of rug making yarn for £10.00 so he decided to buy it. One of the other helpers came from the back of the shop & said there were a few more of them in a smaller container & she brought them out. As they were musty smelling she let us have the lot for £10 & on good days we left them outside to get rid of mustiness. When we paid for these items the lady we first spoke to said to take rug in when DH has made it & he said we would. The lady replied, Don't bring it in next week because I'm away but I'll be here the week after. I don't know how I managed not to laugh as I felt like It will probably take him all winter, to use that lot up. DH had already told her he would do it on winter evenings. We get rug canvas from EBay as he does not make a certain size, whatever is for sale which he can afford. We recently bought one for him to start on. It is a few years since he made one but still has the tool you use so that was OK.

You're not mean and I'm sure she'll understand.

I told the lady I was unable to stitch her a cottage picture as the one I am on is going to take 4 or 5 months & then I have others to do. She had forgotten she had asked DH to ask me & didn't realise they took that amount of time anyway! Had to laugh afterwards though

Thanks for all your help. It is nice to know people are always there to listen & give advice

I agree that people who do not do "craft" have no idea of the time and effort that goes into doing something.My DH is a china painter-birthplates,wedding plates mugs,teapots.If it's china/porcelain he can paint on it.Recently he was aked what it would cost to paint an entire dinner service,8 place settings with Australian wild flowers.Needless to say the enquirer blanched when told a 12" dinner plate fully decorated is $75.Plus it would probably take him six months absolute minimum for the full service.

What a wonderful talent your husband has StitchinKitty. He must have such a steady hand to do that