How to serve milk in tea a controversy?

[DisneyStitcher]

So this is a question for the tea experts across the pond. We have a syndicated column in our paper where people write in and ask Miss Manners all sorts of etiquette questions. One came up this morning that I found fascinating. The question was whether or not, when serving milk in tea, the milk should be poured before or after the tea itself. The questioner was under the impression that originally milk was poured first to avoid the china cracking when the hot tea was poured. Miss Manners refused to take sides, merely saying the issue was highly charged, particularly in England. Which made me wonder, what is the proper way to do it and why? Down here, the most probable way you'll get tea is super sweet (Southern style) and highly iced. The hot drink of choice is generally coffee and milk and sugar are added after you pour your coffee. But we even tend to drink our coffee iced except for early in the morning. So what is the correct way to serve tea?

[Squirrel]

It certainly is a highly charged topic at times. I believe that many eons ago it was 'right and proper' to our the tea and add the milk later.
However these days it is more common to put milk first and tea into the milk. Google "milk in cups of tea" and see what it comes up with.
How delightful there is someone at your paper interested in etiquette and answers questions on it. I thought that had died out back in the 80's.

[Stitchinkitty]

When I drank my tea with milk,the milk always went in first.When tea was first brought to England from China they used to brew it,throw away the water and eat the leaves.Then the British found out they should be drinking the tea water.From there it gets a bit murky.Some say the milk went in to protect the fine china cups from cracking or becoming stained.Another explanation was some did not like the taste of the tea and used milk to tone it down.As a dedicated tea drinker(Long live Twinings) I don't really care as long as I get my heart starter cup of tea in the morning.

[Podolyanka]

I have seen this explanation more than once:

The practice of putting the milk in first originated when users of fine china decided it was hazardous to pour in the hot tea first, in case the cups broke. Thereafter it was a matter of snobbery.

I am a coffee person, but my English friend always puts milk into tea.

When I was little, granny would give me tea with milk, adding a tablespoonful or two to a cup of tea. So I think this way is just the matter of logics.

[Lulu22]

I am British born and bred and drink plenty of tea! I let my tea brew for a few minutes then I pour the milk in so I can get the strength of tea I want, its also helpful when making tea for friends and family as some like a weak tea, I think if you are using fine bone china milk in first is sensible and I was told that was the correct way as others have mentioned, I should imagine very few people adhere to such etiquette nowadays, modern life is so fast and we seem to be losing a lot of our traditional ways, I know some families who don't sit down and share an evening meal together, they don't have time, it's such a shame.
Anyway enjoy your cuppa and don't forget to have your little finger pointing out whilst sipping your tea!

[richardandtracy]

I probably drink 8-10 mugs a day.

How to make 'Builder's Tea': Pour the boiling water on a Tea-Bag, allow to stand for 10-30 minutes. Fish the bag out with fingers & squeeze the last dregs out. If it's too hot to do this, the tea needs to stew more. Then add 3-5 spoons of sugar and milk to taste. This has little to do with etiquette, and more to do with getting a strong mug of tea along with diabetes.

I always make my 'fine' tea by the following process:

1. Boil the water.
2. Pour some into the tea pot to pre-warm the pot, then pour it away.
3. Add one teaspoon of tea leaves for each person to the pot, then add one.
4. Pour in the slightly off-boiling water.
5. Allow to stew for 5 minutes.
6. Pour using a silver coloured strainer (silver is optional) into the cups.
7. Lay the strainer back in its own drip catcher, or on a spare saucer if a drip-catcher is not available.
8. Add sugar, stir, then milk & stir again.
9. Top the pot up if necessary with fresh boiling water.
10. Distribute the cups & side plates with delicate fairy cakes.
11. Drink delicately. Sticking your 'pinkie' (little finger) in the air is both pretentious & an indicator of being lower-middle class.

Ideally the spoons will be Apostle spoons and the china will be something like Royal Albert. I have taken tea with 'Lorna, Dowager Viscountess Leathers' using this method, so it is a method known to the peerage.

Hope this makes it complicated enough for you!

Regards,

Richard.

[rcperryls]

Great and fun question. Since I take both my coffee and my tea straight,( though depending on the type of tea I might add a teaspoon of sugar), I can't answer the question, but am looking forward to the answers.

Sally, "Miss Manners" is a syndicated columnist and appears in a lot of different newspapers around the US. She used to be in our paper, but hasn't been for a long time now. I used to read it regularly, not just for the answers but for some of the questions that people would ask.

Carole

[mauveme]

Getting tea in the US is horrifying, pour hot (barely) water in cup, add teabag with a string attached , leave bag in, add milk and sugar, drink tea. And if you ask for tea in the south, you get it iced unless you specify "hot tea" , then you get strange looks. hehe
When I got tea in a tea house in England, you get a small tea pot for one, with an extra teapot of hot water to dilute the strong tea left in the small teapot, giving you more than one cuppa. Great fun.

[Serinde]

I drink my tea black... all others get milk in after pouring.

[Mabel Figworthy]

As an "incomer" I have looked into this matter a great deal, and come to the conclusion that everyone knows exactly what should be done, but they don't agree what it is. Meaning those who put the milk in first are sure that's the only right and proper way, and those who put the milk in last are equally sure.

My MIL insists that milk-in-first is proper; when she isn't looking, I put the milk in last because I gauge the quantity by the colour.

I once read about a very posh lady who, as a criticism of (I think) a governess said "well, she's rather milk-in-first, darling". But whether that meant "she puts the milk in first, and that's an absolute no-no", or "she is such a social climber she puts the milk in first like we do, even though she wasn't born to it" is anybody's guess

[JA Fan]

Golly. You learn something new every day. So that’s why the milk went in first!
I'm British born and was brought up to always put the milk in before the tea, although I didn’t know why and didn’t ask either! I just accepted it.
When I moved to Canada, it seemed everyone was putting the milk in after the tea was poured and, again, I followed suit.

I guess it didn’t matter to me one way or the other. But what I have observed over the years was the fact it was considered bad form to dunk a teabag in a cup instead of making it properly in a pre warmed teapot -- or to be using teabags at all. I was once told, “You should only use loose tea, my dear.“

I haven’t used loose tea in years. I do use a teapot for company, but when I’m making tea for just the two of us, I dunk the teabags in the cups.
Miss Manners would be horrified!

[agi]

In Hungary we drink tea with sugar and lemon. And usually not too strong although that has perhaps changed a bit.
I gave up sugar in tea (and coffee) a few years ago, so now I skip the lemon, too, just drink my tea black. I tried once with milk and found it horrible. Sorry

[Gypsy57]

As a Brit, I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS add the milk last! If not then it'l either be too weak or too strong. I do the same with my morning coffee.

Speaking of tea... I'm off to put the kettle on!

[kingfisher68(2)]

I add milk last as you can adjust the strength of the tea once it has been poured. Also read in a magazine to add tea last as you do not put milk into a tea pot when you make it the original way.

[Lizzieh]

It's funny this should have come up. I am English and been brought up that the milk always goes in first and then the tea. However at the age of 48 my fiance is adamant that it is the other way round and he is as English as me. It's taking me a long time to change the habit of a lifetime and I have to admit I can't taste any difference which ever way it is done!